I used to watch TV almost every night, even when there was nothing on that I really wanted to watch. As a result, I found myself wasting hours of time on ridiculous fluff.
After a few months of dissatisfaction with this routine, I decided to turn off the TV when there wasn’t something on that I wanted to watch. After a few days, I found that I enjoyed the quiet. I read, I cooked while listening to music, and I organized my home. But lately, another intruder on my time and energy has started to creep in—the Internet. I wrote about this struggle with time-sucking activities at Get Rich Slowly, and I’m sad to say it’s still a daily battle. Some days I win, some days I lose.
What’s the big deal?
Who cares if I zone out in front of the TV or surf the Web when I get home from work? What’s wrong with kicking back and relaxing?
Well, nothing, really. If that is a satisfying way to spend your time. For me, it’s not. It makes me feel icky. That’s really the best word for it. I feel at odds with the way I’ve spent that time and energy. Here are some things that would be infinitely more satisfying to me, in no particular order:
- Working on my freelance business
- Writing
- Cooking
- Organizing
- Reading
- Practicing yoga asanas
- Working on meditation
- Practicing piano (I suck at it—this is a wish list, people!)
- Improving my Italian (and Spanish, and learning French)
- Sitting outside while the cat plays in the yard
- Starting a garden
- Teaching yoga
- Volunteering in my community
But some of those things sound like work! Well, some of them are. That’s the funny thing about this situation. These activities, even the ones that don’t seem relaxing, give me inner calm. Mindless Internet surfing gives me dis-ease and agitation.
Loosen the knots
I’m not knocking TV or the Internet. I learned most of what I know about cooking from PBS. I work online 90 percent of the time for my freelancing business, which is intentional.
What I am talking about is doing these things mindlessly—reading random blogs, gossip rags, surfing to retailers looking for things to need. You take in more information than you can process. It’s like giving your monkey mind a Red Bull.
Time sucks aren’t limited to technology, either. Most people who claim they don’t have a spare moment probably do, if they were honest about the nonessential things on which they spend time. It’s like people who claim they can’t afford food from the farmers’ market, yet they have a $120/month cell phone plan or 500 TV channels. It’s about choice and priorities.
Yesterday I happened upon the article Untying Our Wings: The Way of Non-Attachment in Yoga + Joyful Living. Author and spiritual teacher Eknath Easwaran writes:
Just as a knot can be untied by reversing the steps required to tie it, [Buddha] says, attachments can be loosened by doing the opposite of what created them. Whenever you find yourself spending time and energy on something you are attached to that doesn’t benefit anybody—tinkering with your Honda, cataloging your music, exploring malls or catalogs to find more things to buy—put your attention somewhere else instead. Again, it’s that simple.
Of course, simple doesn’t mean easy. But understanding brings motivation. Once you see what your mind is doing to you with these little habits and decide you prefer the freedom of making choices yourself instead, you will discover a thousand and one little ways to practice untying these knots every day.
Easwaran recommends that when you encounter one of these knots, some activity that you know is a waste of time, you must disengage yourself and do something that is constructive. “When you can do this, he writes, “you are withdrawing love from that thing or activity so that you can direct it freely.”
The bigger picture
So great. You untie some knots. But what does that mean? Well, in short, it means freedom. We free ourselves from the preoccupations and materialism that we give our energy and “love” to and redirect that to loved ones. “This increases the joy of living a million times,” writes Easwaran. ”If loving your close ones can bring such joy, the mystics say, how much more joy must come with loving all?”
And if that’s a bit too woo-woo for you, then I’ll leave you with a quote from Fight Club, a movie I am tempted to quote much too often:
This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.
What do you want to do with that time?